Simple ways of repentance
One of the definitions (if you haven't already heard) is to "Make a willing purpose to'...'amend'...from sin. Sin is an offense to God and often times an offense to someone you've injured. Some would say that "love is never having to say your sorry", which is really a lie. IF that is the case we could away with repentance altogether because not only would you "amend" or for that matter "turn" from something? You would keep doing it. Sometimes a quick note, a sincere text or email (if the other person won't pick up the phone [or you hope they won't]), even in an extreme case a letter sent via snail mail apologizing or at least showing your value/respect/honor for the person.
Do you wonder why "they" left? Maybe they are more like God than you think you are. What do I mean by that? In Hosea 5:15 it says, "I will go and return to my place, till they acknowledge their offence, and seek my face: in their affliction they will seek me early." (KJV) While "their affliction" may not be and probably is not a consequence of "them" not acknowledging their offense, there is still the place of reconciliation in "acknowledging" and making the attempt to reconnect, i.e. "seek my face".
We are so quick to say, "just forgive" and then nothing EVER gets dealt with and again, we have dismissed the importance, power and beauty of repentance in relationship with God number one and with others also. Just "love" some say but love is..."patient" meaning repentance is again an integral part of love and of relationships where judgment may be exhibited but the sentence is given to God to do and conviction to Holy Spirit to pierce the darkness of the prideful who say things like, "love means never having to say you're sorry" or "we don't have time to apologize, lets just love".
After all that "reasoning" of men that repentance and reconciliation has no need to apologize is unfounded at best and unrealistic in practice. Some will say, "just grow up", yet again, I would point to God. Who of us will tell Him to "just grow up" or "mature"? Repentance and apologizing is a part of relationships, so here are some ways to make "amends" if you haven't already thought of some or heard the Lord specifically tell you.
1. Say, "I'm sorry" even if its "I'm not sorry for what I said but how I said it." or vice versa
2. Send an email or text, then follow up with another (not being annoying but consistent)
3. Be genuinely sorry that you hurt them, not that they got hurt.
4. Take responsibility for your part in an action, word or confrontation or the lack of doing nothing at all. You can't "make" anyone feel good about themselves but you can make them feel good about your relationship.
5. CHANGE...sometimes both of you/us has to change and sometimes a break may be necessary. Break it either until the Lord tells you to take the call, make the call or to move on. After you may have "moved on" do not treat them as a novice or unimportant to you anymore. I've had the door swung closed in my face before and then heard, "you have a mental issue". The hurt is real but at times know that you do/both may need to move on. Treat each other with respect and how you would want to be treated. That may help to defer offense.
6. Send a random note: "I'm not sure what I did, but I want you to know you are valuable". "If I did anything to offend you please forgive me" but then be ready to be told what you may have done and do no say something like, "no body wants to hear that" or "I guess I've never been hurt that bad". Just say..."I'm sorry, I never thought it would hurt you, I never meant to"
7. Alot of us like to "apologize" but few times do you ever hear at the end of the apology..."Please forgive me" or "can you forgive me" or "will you forgive me" and then either wait for a response without a rebuttal.
Proverbs 18:19 says, "19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle." (KJV) There is here a responsibility and call to win them but to acknowledge it may difficult and time may be required. To many of us look for the prosthetic instead of the complete healing and use of the original body part. In other words, if I stole something, I may only be able to pay pack a little at a time, but then again there are times I may have it to pay back. Be humble and be real. Do not dismiss YOUR part in repentance and the Love of God that returns when the offense is acknowledged. For those who read this who have been offended you must also realize your part in repentance to forgive, to acknowledge and then the need for God to return once the sin/offense has been acknowledged. Let US return and promote repentance in its full capacity to the earth, to the church's and to the people...His people first and to others.
Take a moment to read Psalm 139. David is asking to One with the Lord, but there is a way...everlasting. In relationships repentance just may be THAT "way". It is a beautiful act. Selah
